Dan: See Dad, that’s the problem I have with Lila; she’s so demanding I’ve no time for my own issues.
Dad: Well actually you’ve been visiting for a day now, and that doesn’t appear to be a problem.
There are some things in the house that I am not allowed to clean up, the main one being sparkly sprinkles, wherever they are; on the wall, in her hair, on the floor, and in my hair (I leave them cause its a divorced mom magnet). The other don’t clean up is what I call her alters, some complicated setups of toys that are perfect in her world.
.
Lila, a friend and I are having lunch in a restaurant. Lila says ‘Don’t you really like that?’ Me and my friend look up where she’s pointing and notice a 6 foot diameter paper clam right over our heads with the internal colors slowly changing through the rainbow.
Who but two grown-ups would not notice a 6 foot rainbowing clam 4 feet over their heads?
When I’m trying to get something done, Lila is like Homing Velcro.
I distract myself intentionally with Lila by taking lots of pictures, or with my Iphone in general, because her being in the moment, her now, her running NOW, is so much more than mine, and when I try – well that’s it exactly, I have to TRY, and I can’t keep up.
(INSOUCIENT
free from concern, worry, or anxiety; carefree: nonchalant.)
Fear that as Lila grows, she wouldn’t like me anymore reaffirming yet again that unloveable self belief of mine, and that would be the last connection I have. It’s already as if I’m fooling her.
2 days ago Lila asked “Daddy, how big is your Penis?” Naturally, in hope that she would repeat the conversation, I said “Big”
So yesterday she looks at me and says “Daddy, your boobs are HUGE!”
Lila does manners at mom’s house, whereas at mine I only enforce the basic animal-rights rules, for her own safety. 
